he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize