I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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