You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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