am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
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So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
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We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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