He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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