I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize