Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.

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(713): Hope the move went well! I'll miss you! (832): you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there. http://tfl.nu/n7dn

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(949): View more from California

Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.

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(949): Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever. http://tfl.nu/rea8

Replies (358) Good night (24217) Bad night (7311)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?

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(440): Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me? http://tfl.nu/fofz

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(516): View more from New York

he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.

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(516): he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor. http://tfl.nu/s1qd

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(360): View more from Washington

whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.

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(360): whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind. http://tfl.nu/pllx

Replies (24) Good night (5428) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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(941): View more from Florida

Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.

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(941): Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick. http://tfl.nu/3ndf

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(847): View more from Illinois

If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

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(847): If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen http://tfl.nu/f9bs

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(516): View more from New York

She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning

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(516): She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning http://tfl.nu/jaay

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(708): View more from Illinois

i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life

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(708): i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life http://tfl.nu/nn4z

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

this is not real life

(1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

it never is. after midnight never counts.

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(267): this is not real life (1-267): it never is. after midnight never counts. http://tfl.nu/o5xm

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(530): View more from California

My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans

(530): View more from California

You've been usurped as King of the Gays

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(530): My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans (530): You've been usurped as King of the Gays http://tfl.nu/3bmd

Replies (19) Good night (1699) Bad night (564)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja

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(973): She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja http://tfl.nu/0g6m

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.

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(403): I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here. http://tfl.nu/2ffm

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(650): View more from California

Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.

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(650): Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some. http://tfl.nu/6y08

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(303): View more from Colorado

i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.

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(303): i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower. http://tfl.nu/pdu2

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