i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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