i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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