I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize