I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Panties = found
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