my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize