I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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