what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize