Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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