Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
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Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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