I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize