Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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