..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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