Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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