I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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