How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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