Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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