I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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