Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize