I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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