I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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