did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize