my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
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Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i drank out of a bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize