whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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