u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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