She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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