hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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