I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
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So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
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I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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