redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize