So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
BRING THE BAGELS
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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