booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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