I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize