hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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