Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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