Duck Duck Cougar?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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