Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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