I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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