And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize