I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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