Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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