I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
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I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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