I think my vagina is haunted
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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