You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize