I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize